Day5:

So if you haven't noticed, I'm not really good at blogging everyday. I either have waaaaaay too much to do, or resting from having so much to do. But I have a wonderful update! Two of the six chest tubes are out and he is eating soo much better. Hopefully some of the other chest tubes will come out Monday. His friend Tony, who had double lung transplant only 11 weeks ago, came by to see him.Wednesday. Tony looks wonderful! I can't wait to see Danny gain his weight back! He got out of bed yesterday and sat in the recliner for a while and ate his dinner. Today he was up walking laps around the nurses station, with NO OXYGEN! We had the post-transplant class yesterday. Before the transplant they told us it would be like trading one set of problems for another, and boy are they right! At least he will be able to breathe and enjoy his life while dealing with this set of problems though! I am so excited to see him enjoy his life. He is already laughing and thinking about what all he wants to do when he is able to do so!

Quick update:

Danny was moved from CICU to Transplant ICU and is doing well! He still hasn't gotten out of bed but I think they are going to try that today, as well as remove some of the chest tubes. He is having really bad back pain but has ALWAYS had pain in his back, so I didn't expect it to go away. He ate a little yesterday! He is only on 1liter of oxygen, but the nurse turned it off without telling him yesterday and he didn't even notice :) He told me yesterday that if his back wasn't hurting him he would be up running! He also said he's ready to go to the Zoo! Where that came from, I don't know (could be the meds LOL), but I'm ready to take him anywhere he wants to go! In the next couple of days they are going to start teaching him about all the new meds he will be taking. Thanks for all the prayers! We thank the Lord that they were answered and he is recovering nicely!

The WAIT is OVER :)

Danny FINALLY has a new pair of lungs!!! The surgery was over about 4am this morning and the first time we got to go back he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand. He tried to talk but couldn't because of the tubes in his throat. He is doing GREAT and looks good too. The breathing tube just got taken out and he is breathing on his own. I got to see him about an hour ago and his only complaint was "I'm HOT!!". I will try to update as much as I can. But now it is time to catch some sleep. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers :) This is what we have been waiting on for a looooooong time!!

PATIENTLY waiting...

on the doctor to tell us if the lungs they have for Danny are good. So we should know within the hour if he will be headed to the operating room. Thanks for all the prayers, and those of you who simply read and understand me :)

been a while:

I know it's been a while, but really nothing new going on. Still here waiting. I went home for about 5 days and got to spend my birthday with Ashton. It was wonderful. Things seem to be looking up. Danny got a letter from Social Security telling him that they would not ask him to repay the money that they over paid him [which didn't make sense to me how it was HIS fault], and all the bills this month should be covered by his check. So no worries there. Now, my father in law has figured out what is wrong with my car. I need a transmission. But, it made the 2 hour drive back to the hospital very well :) I just can't drive at night because I don't wanna be broke down in this town in the dark! But, I am just praying that my car lasts me until this whole transplant ordeal is over! Dr. Young came in a while ago and asked Danny again if he is ready to go home. Of course he said 'no'. I pray every night that this call will come. But it worries me that Danny is not up walking like he should be. Every day since I have been back I ask him if he is ready to go for a walk and his response has been 'tomorrow'. What if the call for transplant comes and he has not gotten up and walked further than the bathroom for a month? IDK. All I can do is have faith that he will take me up on my offer to get up and walk. I did go outside for a walk today though. Walked around the block about 4 times. Kind of refreshing to me :) And it is soooooo beautiful outside. Well, almost time for Hell's Kitchen and I can't miss that. LOL. Hopefully the next time I blog it will be about getting that loooooong awaited phone call!! ::crosses fingers::

stressed:

Although I am on the edge of a mental breakdown, I have told myself that I have to hold strong. Not only for myself, but for Danny as well. I know he has a million things to worry about, but seems like I have THREE MILLION things to worry about. Sitting at this hospital day after day gets old, and I know Danny has to do it as well, but I would feel so much better to have him home for a week or two. It just seems like he doesn't want to try to go home. Every time the doctor mentions it he just seems to get worse. Maybe not on purpose, but I am almost to the conclusion that alot of it is in his head. I've seen him hop out of bed and almost sprint to the bathroom, but if the doctor asks him about if he is ready to go home he lays in bed for the next week. It is hard on me. I'm wasting money eating down here when I could be at home. Worried about my house, Ashton, what kind of bills came in the mail this month, my car is broken and I have to get Danny's dad to bring me. It just never ends. I sit here watching Danny sleep with nothing to do, with little human contact. I am lonely. I miss Ashton. He's the only one that makes me forget all the troubles in my life. He loves me unconditionally. IDK. Maybe its this wait. I pray every night that tonight will be the night that they call us with a new pair of lungs. But I don't know if I am ready. I am broke, no job, my car is broken, and the list goes on. But I HAVE to be ready. For Danny. It seems like I don't get to do anything FOR TRIXIE anymore. While Danny lays there with only DANNY to worry about, I have myself, Danny, Ashton, my house, the bills, my car, and only a million other things to worry about. Danny promises that all the hurt will be worth it when he gets better, but that leaves me to wonder if that is just something else that he's telling me to make me feel better or if he really believes that it will all be worth it?

So close, yet soooo far away...

It has been a week since I've blogged, and not alot has happened. I got to bring Ashton and Danny's friend Josh out to see him last Saturday. He enjoyed hanging out and talking. Also, Danny almost got another chance at a pair of lungs. But the doctor said that they were too far away, and weren't the best quality. They'd really like to find a good pair of lungs for him. So, we are still waiting on lungs. He got up and had a shower yesterday, and I know it had to make him feel a little better. The first time in a while that he's been able to actually get up and get in the shower. He got up and did a little walking too. He hasn't been able to do that in a while either. Went outside and sat on the benches. It was a little muggy out there, so we didn't stay out long.

The government cut Danny's check (SSI) because they say they over payed him last year. I don't see how that's his fault, but whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't our ONLY income. That barely paid our bills in the first place, now it puts me in a bind. I have to worry about paying the bills, and having gas money to travel to Birmingham. UGH, sometimes it just seems like life kicks you when you are already down. But the only thing I can do is keep my head up. Do what I can, and worry about my family. I wish I could work, but being this close to this transplant is what we have always wanted. If I did get a job, as soon as the call came I'd have to leave and be prepared to stay here for 4-6 weeks or more. So right now I'm just managing the best I can.